Derek had been joining them for lunch for almost a month now. That in itself is a surprise – usually Emma either reserves a table “for two” somewhere far away from Alex, or she doesn’t come to lunch at all when she has a new boy-toy. Instead, after only a few days, Derek insisted that they come over and sit with Alex, so that he wouldn’t be sitting by himself. At first Alex was wary – even if he is past his crush on Emma, he doesn’t want to have to watch her make out with her boyfriend at the lunch table. Honestly, he wouldn’t want to watch anyone make out with their boyfriend at the lunch table. But so far, he hasn’t had to. They might be holding hands under the table, but mostly what they do at lunch is talk. It’s so different from the way Emma usually is with her boyfriends – and so much nicer to be around as a third wheel.
It’s kind of interesting, Alex thinks, how every relationship is unique. Even among the ones he’s watched Emma have, each boyfriend reacted to her need for, well, for lack of a better word, intimacy completely differently. Somehow Derek has convinced her that she doesn’t need to be touching him at all times, and Alex kind of appreciates that. Emma can be needy, sometimes, and it’s nice to see that someone else is able to fill that need in a way that isn’t unhealthy.
Alex has been thinking a lot about his friendship with Emma lately. Ever since Christmas, since she and Derek started dating, she’s been changed. Not more attentive – she’s still reserving most of her attention for Derek – but she’s been much more considerate towards Alex, waving back if he sees her in the hall, stopping briefly to say “hi” between classes (usually with Derek, but still). And Alex was surprised to find that while he likes the attention, he’s happy that she has found someone who so obviously has a good effect on her. And, even more surprising, he doesn’t wish that it were him, sitting with her at lunch. Of course, a few weeks ago he realized that was because he had a crush on someone else, but… he likes to think that he would have felt this way even without Zoe in the picture.
Now that his mind has wandered to Zoe, he can’t stop wondering what their relationship might be like. Could what they have already be a relationship? Could they be more than friends without ever meeting? Emma wouldn’t like that kind of relationship, he’s pretty sure, but Zoe is so very different than Emma that he thinks, maybe…
Zoe. Alex slumps, picking over his food with his fork. Here he finally made a breakthrough with Emma, and he gets himself right back in the same situation with another girl.
“Are you okay?” Emma asks. Alex startles a little, still unused to her noticing how he’s feeling. Derek really has had a good effect on her. Maybe, finally, their friendship can stop being so… so draining. Mental note: Tell Emma to hang on to Derek as long as he’ll let her sometime soon.
“Yeah, it’s just- I’m- uh- worried about my penpal.” It’s not exactly a lie.
“You have a penpal?” Derek asks, his mouth half full of the cardboard-flavored spaghetti they were serving today. Okay, maybe he’s not perfect, but hey, better that flaw than any of the ones her other boyfriends had.
“Yeah,” Alex says, forcing a smile, “A girl from Torrey Pines wrote letters to strangers for a sociology class, and I wrote back.”
“That’s so cool!” Derek exclaims. See? He’s really a nice guy.
“Yeah. Only…” he debates how much to tell Derek. “I haven’t heard from her in a while, and I know she’s going through some stuff, you know? A… um… one of her family members is really sick, and I’m worried that she- she didn’t make it.” Again, not exactly a lie.
“Aw man, that’s rough. Do you have her number?” Derek asks.
“I think I do somewhere, but… I mean, I don’t want to bother her, especially if she’s dealing with a funeral and all that, you know? She’ll write me when she gets time.”
“I had no idea you were still writing to her,” Emma says, slightly accusatory.
“Oh.” Alex isn’t sure how to respond. In fact, he’s surprised she even remembers. “I- I guess it never came up?”
Emma seems to accept that for now, and they go back to eating, now in an uneasy silence.